Wednesday, August 11, 2010

How do I find Love?

They do not love that do not show their love.
The course of true love never did run smooth.
Love is a familiar. Love is a devil. There is no evil angel but Love.
-- William Shakespeare
The first time I ever felt I wasn't good enough was when she said goodbye. I never imagined I could think about somebody so much. Never did I dream I could hurt so badly. I could do nothing but scream and lash out. She had left me after all that was said, all that was done, all that we had. As I searched inside myself for some hope that I could bring her back. I knew I'd never see her again and there was nothing I could do about it. I wasn't good enough. 
From that day forward I've never felt that way about anyone else... well not until recently, but that's another story. In any case I held onto this feeling of not being good enough for anyone. I dated and met many amazing women but never did I ever believe I was good enough. 
So I pushed to make something more of myself in everything I did. Perfectionist to the core.  I built myself up, never letting anyone get in the way of my hopes, my dreams, my... Loves.
I do love. Everyday I love. I love my friends. When I see them I always try to spend as much time as I can finding out what's on their mind. How they feel? How their hopes, and dreams, and loves are going? I love my Family. Sometimes you've heard it 100 times before but just being with them to listen will bring something back into your heart we've all forgotten is always there.

I could go on. But let me get to the point. If you want to learn how to love. You need to start with understanding yourself. 
  •  Find a quiet place to be alone for about 5 maybe 10 minutes
  • Turn off the lights if you can and close your eyes
  • What do you see?
  • Erase it
  • Listen to the room. Picture yourself in that room and try to see your own face (This can be very difficult but really try to do this)
  • Now that you are present to yourself and your surroundings, ask yourself "What do I want to do?"
  • It should come very quickly, when you have it, jump up! And take to it like nothing you've ever done before. If you start losing interest quickly than you need to spend more time in a clear head before asking yourself what you want to do.
This exercise will not only help you with understanding yourself but it will really give you time to see what's lacking in your relationships as well. Giving you a great start in understanding what love is all about.